In many a conversation the world over it is safe to say most of us women have come to the conclusion that when it comes to the crunch, men…well…they just get scared. Haven’t we all been there when you are in the early days of the stairway to love, you are seeing eachother, you talk for hours, you laugh and you are really into the whole thing. The chemistry is amazing and it all seems to just fit. Then like a shock to the system , he is a tad more distant, the calls aren’t as frequent as before and the excuses start to come. He is slowly slipping away. How can that be? The signs were there and things were going so well. Then you start to psycho analyse every detail that could have happened or what you could have possibly done or said for him to cut loose. You think ‘he was into me’ so what went wrong? It is emotional madness. Maybe, just maybe, could it be that when a guy has strong feelings or mixed ones they may need time to understand it or process it? Perhaps they have never had the experience of dealing with such strong emotions and are trying to find a way to understand them. Is it their ‘inner boy’ that is scared and doesn’t know what to do. They don’t have perhaps the capacity to deal with it because it has maybe never happened at this level.
Cavemen weren’t really equipt to deal with emotions and vulnerability. Perhaps this was seen as weak in those days. It was all about hunting and gathering to serve and protect the family. Could it be that if a man has such strong emotional feeling for his current object of affection and he retreats or leaves all together that he is either not ready for something serious or he is just scared. Perhaps a full blown commitment seems too much and overwhelming to him. Is he is the right head space? Will he appear weak or feel he is to give up himself and part of his life if he does commit?
For us, the fairer sex, it leaves us bewildered, confused and hurt. Hurt so much so that our hearts can become jaded and less trusting to go through the process all over again. It is important to remember not to place blame on yourself or him. Sometimes they have to do what they have to do in order to ‘Man Up’ so to speak. After all, the right man wont disappear on you. He will show up at the right place at the right time. And he wont be scared of anything. For the right person it is worth it. He would embrace his feelings not run from them. Never be disheartened when you experience a man who is still trying to let go of his ‘inner child’. Let it be. Let the boy become a man. If he runs let him. He has just made room for the man who is ready for you.