Sipping my Frappe on a hot summers day i was about to get suck into some Reading material when i overheard a discussion between two women. One married the other one not. They were speaking about love, dating and commitment. Lady ‘A’ who is married made a mention that after dating failures and relationship failures she did the one thing she only knew how to do and that got her a husband. Lady ‘B’, without a ring on it, asked ” How?..What?” She took the Che Sara Sara attitude. What will be will be. She explained that she no longer made men the center of her world unless he was totally without a doubt committed to her. She said being a “Girlfriend” wasn’t good enough anymore. She wasn’t going to give her heart 100% unless he did and put a ring on it. Lady B looked stunned. Like she had never heard of such a thing. ” But when you are a girlfriend you are committed…both of you.” She explained looking perplexed. Lady A replied ” Really?….are you sure about that?” Overhearing it, it knocked the socks of me too. So much that it stopped me cold from finishing my frappe as my ears became aroused listening to such juicy information. Lady A continued ” Men get lazy and complacent. They think they have won you and they have you. So they don’t have to work as harder to keep you because they assume you will, and are always around. Your waiting patiently to get to the next level. They may not be thinking that at all. So you can go years without a real commitment.” Lady B listened carefully. And so did i. How many times have we all been in this predicament. Assume commitment when its not really there. Lady A continued as she knew her friend wanted more. By that stage so did i. ” I had a carefree approach and didn’t allow my now husband to occupy my head space, let alone my feelings until i knew he was 100% going to commit to me. I treated it as another rock in the lake. If he wasn’t 100% then neither was i. Until there is a ring on that finger you are a technically a free agent. If he really wants you then nothing will stop him. The last thing he will want is another man ‘In-to You’.
Did Lady A have a point. The more i thought about it the more it made sense. Maybe men do get lazy. They think the girl is always going to be there and come back. They don’t treat you like the prize anymore because they have you. But what if they lost you or know they can loose you at any moment? ” This is amazing…you are amazing” Said Lady B. ” You are so strong.”
” That is because i value myself and have learnt some important lessons. When you respect yourself and know what you deserve you are more likely to not put up with games, being mislead and mistreated. That shows him that he needs to up the anti in order to keep you. If not there surely is someone out there that will. Think of the rocks in the lake. Some will move with the water, some will stay. Those that are meant to stay will.” Lady A explained sipping her Sav Blanc. And with that. In 10 minutes I learnt more then than i had in a long time. Cheers to all the single ladies who want a ring on it.